The Power of Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an essential part of owning your identity and a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Not unlike the invisible electric fences that home owners install to protect their pets, a boundary is a personal fence that helps protect you from physical and emotional harm and allows you to enjoy more happy, rich relationships.

As Maya Angelou so famously said, “We teach people how to treat us.” And nowhere is that more true than when we put emotional, physical or mental boundaries into play into our life. Physical boundaries give us the power to allow or not allow people into our physical circle. They set expectations for others of how we want them to interact with us. Healthy boundaries may include how close you will allow a person in your physical space (politicians seem to be chronic violators of this one- especially the hair sniffing ones) as well as mental boundaries that foster respect for our thoughts and opinions. Lastly, emotional boundaries help us stabilize our own emotions and decrease the disadvantageous, manipulative emotions of others.

Self-care, which is a part of setting boundaries, is an important part of leading a mentally healthy life. But unlike more instinctive aspects of self-care like healthy eating and exercise, setting healthy boundaries aren’t something most people naturally know how to do. For more people to experience greater well-being and fulfillment, they must learn about healthy boundaries.  For example, telling your husband you need some alone time or your boss that you can’t take on another assignment and maintain life/work balance or your children that they need to chip in more with household chores are lines in the sand that nourish your soul, energy supply and attitude. Without strong boundaries that we stick to we are bound to self-create emotional upheaval, drama and trauma.

In my next post, I’ll show you how to set and communicate your boundaries, and what to do when someone crosses them accidentally or intentionally. Until then, boundary on and practice making your protective fence of boundaries more visible than invisible!